Texas Sized

As corny as it sounds, I hear a lot of "wow, it's really true. Everything is bigger in Texas". Admittedly, the statement gives me pause and I always end up scratching my head on this one because, well, let's face it, my boobs are definitely not Texas Sized. However,  my ass is. It's always been "big", even before my boobs grew to a gigantic size portion. Yes, I'm aware that I just contradicted myself all in the same paragraph. It's what I do, though. My mom had medium sized boobs (B cup) and no ass. Her mom, my "granny" (who was cute!), was a big boned gal. She had a beauty about her and I'm not saying that out of a biased opinion, it's true, just ask my grandpa. She was on the bigger side of a C cup and she had an ass which went along with her big boned body, but I have to tell you, my ass is bigger. Hell, I have a hard time finding jeans that fit because I can't squeeze my fat ass cheeks into them and if I can then the waist is gaped open...that's SEXY, let me tell you! Okay, so on with the story before I completely bore you off of your ass, no pun intended. (LMFAO! I've always wanted to use that in a sentence. WOOT!)